Rise and Shine

So, I quit my day job, wanting to A) Write full time, and B) sleep in.

Welcome to my morning. 

5:29 a.m.  Emmett, my border collie rescue, noses me to let him out for a potty break.

5:32 a.m.  Emmett returns and I collapse back into bed.

5:36 a.m.  Molly, my daughter’s Maltese mix, pushes open her bedroom door for her potty break.  
Not my dog…I’m not moving. 
Unable to open the back door by herself, Molly poops on the kitchen floor.

5:36:30 a.m.  Emmett whines hysterically because he knows that indoor pooping is a major no-no.
Sadie, my other border collie rescue, lifts her head, practically rolls her eyes in disgust, and flops back down to sleep.
Tail high, Molly goes back to my daughter’s bedroom.

5:38 a.m.  The smell permeates the house.

5:41 a.m.  My daughter gets up and deals with the problem.
Peace descends.

6:16 a.m.  Sadie gives me the mind-control stare.  She wants breakfast.
I ignore her.
She roots in my wastebasket, as all terminally starving dogs will do.

6:16:30 a.m.  Emmett begins barking…loudly…because Sadie is in the wastebasket.
And he is about to die from the famine sweeping the household.

6:16:45 a.m.  Molly barks hysterically because if Emmett is barking something must be terribly wrong.
I put a pillow over my head.
Emmett jumps on the bed, cries, and paws at me because Molly says there is something terribly wrong
…and I have a pillow over my head.

6:18 a.m.  I stagger out of bed, put the coffee on and feed the dogs.  Once again, starvation has been barely averted.

I mainline coffee and consider going back to work…